My 3 AM Thoughts...

Fingertips like piano keys and

eyes like sunshine.

I don't know you,

but I want to.

I fail to let you know how beautiful I think you are whenever you're near. 

And maybe you would think that, that was weird. 

So I'll save it.

But a simple hi would suffice. 

I don't know you,

but I do know that regardless of the fact that I don't know your favorite color, or what you look like in the mornings, or if you're a cat person, or if you always tell your mom you love her when you hang up the phone...

I know you make me feel like wind. 

And when I'm spinning in circles 

with leaves in my hair

I'm thinking of you. 

And when I grab the string of a balloon and let it take me to the stars,

I'm hoping you're holding onto my ankle. 

I'm hoping that your tongue is just as tied as mine.

And you know that I'm the wind and you wait for rainy days just to see me.

And people will always tell you 

you can't see wind...

Please don't believe them darling. 

When I work up the courage,

and the rain starts to fall,

I'll spin us in circles until the sun shines as bright as your eyes, 

And then we'll keep spinning. 

And people will complain about the tornadoes we're making,

and that's fine. 

We'll move to Kansas. 

Daveni.

Human

I miss Saturday morning cartoons.
I miss my big back yard that I always refused to play in because playing in the front yard was way cooler. I miss playing in the front yard.
I miss night games.
I miss falling asleep in the car and waking up in my dad's arms as he carries me to bed.
And for as long as I'm living in this God forsaken house, I will forever kiss my mom goodnight.
I miss kids making fun of me because I kiss my mom ON THE MOUTH.
And you can all suck it because I don't care what you think.
Never have, never will.
And that's a lie. Because I've always cared. Forever caring what you crazy people think of me because you make me who I am...as shitty as that sounds.
I'm made up of opinions, and lies, and thoughts, and rumors, and first impressions
and only some of them are mine.
I wish I had confidence
I wish looking in the mirror was easy and made me feel good.
I wish I REALLY didn't care about all of your opinions, lies, thoughts, rumors, and first impressions..
I care about poetry though...
I care about grilled cheese sandwich's cause they make the world go round.
I care about my family.
I care about that one boy who puts sandpaper in my mouth and glue on my tongue
and then God sews my lips together because he's got a cruel sense of humor.
I care about that.
I care about classical music, I care about Adventure Time, I care about coke zero, I care about my friends, I care about "old fashioned" romance. The kind where you make flirty eye contact across the room, dance in circles the whole night, fall instantly in love, then run away together... I care about Koko the gorilla and how she's too old for children now. I care about the smell of books, I care about summer, I care about grandparents, and broccoli, and the color black.

I CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK OF ME.

Robots don't care.
But I do.

Daveni

Ohh umm...hi.

I don't know who's reading this right now,
but you're probably pretty cool.
You probably write good poetry
and wear church shoes to school.
You probably listen to really good music,
and it's probably stuff that I've never even heard of...
but I'd assume it's good.

If you're reading this write now,
you must be in Nelsons Creative Writing Class.
You must be looking for inspiration,
you must be looking for something to make you feel.
To feel what?
I'm not too sure.
I don't know if you'll find it here...
amongst the scratched out, ink blotted,
word search that is my mind.
And you'll never really know how scratchy
and ink blotted it really is because you're reading
these perfectly typed words,
and you're probably thinking how perfect I am.
Or not.
Cause I'm definately not.

If you're reading this right now,
You might be lost.
You might be found.
You might be wandering,
And you might be using a map.
Maps scare me.
All those lines and spaces reminding me
of places I haven't seen yet.
And maybe never will...

If you're reading this right now,
you're probably wondering about me,
and who I am.
But I'm wondering about you,
and the kind of person you are.
Of all the things you have and haven't done.
Of the places you've been.
Of all the mistakes you've never made
because you're not me.
I'm wondering if you've ever been caught sneaking out.
I'm wondering if you like cats.
I'm wondering if you've ever had your heart broken.
I'm wondering if you've ever had your heart broken
by a boy with red hair and green eyes.
I'm wondering if you look in the mirror
and like what you see.
I'm wondering if you look into your soul
and like who are.
Are you a jock? Cheerleader? Nerd? Wanderer?
A "nobody"?
I'm wondering if you cry when the lights go out,
and no ones around to dry your tears.
I'm wondering what you're crying about.
I'm wondering what I can do to help.
I'm wondering what your goals and aspirations are.
I'm wondering if your mom's your best friend.
I'm wondering if you have an addiction...
one that's not worth letting the world know about.
I'm wondering if you're a tourist.
I'm wondering if anybody will actually even read this...

If you are in fact reading this,
then you should know that I'm all those things.
The one one that got caught sneaking out,
the one with a broken heart, the cat lover,
The "nobody" ,
The one that cry's at night,
The one who loves her mom,
The one with an addiction,
The one who refuses to be a tourist,
The Wanderer, the wonderer.
I'm all these things and more.

So welcome to my scratchy, ink blotted life.
Yours truly,
Daveni Rush