I'm sorry this doesn't make any sense.

I'm surrounded by people that call me "friend"...but are we really? You slink into the shadows whenever I'm near and let the words that break my heart slip from the same mouths that show teeth when you see me. I guess you're growling instead of smiling.
Now I feel stupid.
I'm broken you know?

Dear brown eyed boy,
I'm broken.
Can you hear me? I'm broken.
There's a reason why I surround myself with lies and fake smiles.
There's a reason I keep my fingernails painted, and my thoughts to myself.
There's a reason why I have scabs on my face.
There's a reason why I've started sleeping with socks on.
There's a reason to why I laugh at inappropriate times and have recently awarded myself the most awkward human being medallion.
There's a reason I wear this ring on my middle finger and cry for no reason, but there's always a reason.
There's a reason why I hardly ever make sense.
There's a reason why I bite my fingernails and I always find myself staring at people for too long.
Staring at you for too long.
There's a reason I'm broken,
and it's because I'm incapable of loving and I'm so scared of you.
I stay detached because it's easier then forever being heartbroken.
Mr. Brown eyes...please don't break my heart because my family likes you more then I do and I know my mom can't watch me cry anymore.
I'll be your forever best friend if you promise to still like me when I wake up with bed head and  breath that could take down a small herd of elephants.
I'll always keep you smiling if you promise to always open my car door because as silly as it sounds, it drives me crazy. (In the good way)
I'll make you feel important if you promise to leave me alone when I'm angry, but still hold me when I'm crying.
I'll support you in anything and everything you do if you promise to always look at me like you're seeing something that nobody else sees.
I'll stop saying the f-word if you promise to start, because I think it's so sexy when you swear. I'm pathetic.
I'll always write beautiful words about you if you promise to sing for me whenever I ask you to.
I'll let go of this heartache and these fake friends if you promise to hold my hand through it because I'm scared of you, but I'm scared of this to, and I need you more then I'll ever admit.
Please hold me in place when I start to run, because I promise...I'll run.
Don't let me go.
Thanks.

Love,
Daveni Rush